COUNSELING SERVICES

WHERE IS GOD WHEN I'M HURTING?

(Note: This essay is largely based on Philip Yancey's book, Where is God When It Hurts. There is also excellent treatment of the subject in works of C.S.Lewis, John Wimber, G.K.Chesterton, and others.)

Choices

We all need God's help enduring suffering while in the middle of it. One point of comfort I have found is that we attain the lofty goals of maturity by allowing Jesus to accomplish his goals in us. One of the means he uses is obedience in suffering. In other words, when we feel that we are in so much pain that we can't function, or when we feel too numb to think, we can keep putting one foot in front of the other, doing what we see to do, trusting Jesus to get us where he wants us to be.

"When we suffer we are confronted with a choice: we can believe that God is unjust and does not care for us or we can believe that he is good and that whatever comes from his hand is tempered with mercy and his desire for our growth." We may not understand why our loved ones needed to die, but we can understand that God is in control and he is good." (John Wimber, Kingdom Suffering, p. 14 & 15)

Why we suffer

Like Christ, we should expect to suffer as we live in a hostile and evil world; unlike Christ, we suffer as sinners. The bottom line is this: We live in an age in which our enemy, the devil, is capable of inflicting great harm, so we shouldn't be surprised when we suffer. We live in a world coinhabited with the Prince of Darkness. (John Wimber, p.18)

"The Bible traces the entrance of suffering and evil into the world to a grand but terrible quality of human beings—freedom. What makes us different from cavorting porpoises, roaring lions, and singing birds? Humans alone have been released from the stereotyped instinctual behavior of an animal species. We have true, self-determining choice. We can even manipulate and control our environment.

"Free man, however, introduced something new to the planet – a rebellion against the original design. We only have slight hints of the way earth was meant to be, but we do know that humanity has broken out of the mold. 'We talk of wild animals,' says Chesterton, 'but man is the only wild animal. It is man that has broken out. All other animals are tame animals; following the rugged respectability of the tribe or type.'

"We've built a wall separating us from God. Inside the wall, we live pretty much as we please. Sometimes we follow the rules God laid out which is the way of love and peace and goodness. Sometimes we don't.

"Most remarkably, God listens. He allows man the freedom to do what he wants, defying all the rules of the universe (at least for a time). Discussion of the universal aspects of suffering must begin here. Do not judge God solely by the world, just as you would not judge Picasso by his Blue Period alone. The world is in revolt. God has already hung a Condemned sign above the earth, and he has promised judgment. That this world full of evil and suffering still exists at all is an example of God's mercy, not his cruelty.

"Somehow, pain and suffering were unleashed as necessary companions to misused human freedom. When man chose against God, his free world was forever spoiled." (Philip Yancey, Where is God when it hurts. P. 48 & 49)

Response to suffering

Pain, God's megaphone, can drive me away from him. I can hate God for allowing such misery. Or, on the other hand, it can drive me to him. I can believe him when he says this world is not all there is, and take the chance that he is making a perfect place for those who follow him on painwracked earth. (Yancey, p. 53)

When we watch a loved one die, we are facing the rock-bottom emotions of life, and many people call for a pastor or priest for the first time ever. Often, only the megaphone of pain is strong enough to bring us to our knees and make us reconsider life. It is Yancey's belief that God used pain to tell us to trust him, as a child trusts a father. – as in the story of Job; God's desire with Job was that Job would trust him no matter what was happening.

"It is hard to be a child. We think we are big enough to run our own world without such messy things as pain and suffering to remind us of our dependence. We think we are wise enough to make our own decisions about morality, and to live rightly without the megaphone of pain blaring our ears." (Yancey, p. 56)

Cause:

Did God take our loved ones who have died? Is he a capricious, unfair, cosmic sadist?

In the Old Testament eras, trials were usually judgments – not capricious or unjust. In the era of the New Covenant, the pattern is different. God has shifted in his manner of acting in the world. Jesus' miracles were called signs and wonders, showing compassion, not judgment.

Satan caused the woman's painful blood disease that lasted 18 years. (Luke 8: 40 – 56).

Romans slaughtered Jews – not because of their sins, but because they were Jews.

Jesus commented about the tower of Siloam which fell killing 18 people. These people had done nothing unusual to deserve this. Maybe it was simply a poorly built tower. (Luke 14: 25 – 33)

The man born blind was not blind because of his or his parents' sins. – God was not punishing him or his family. (John 9:1 – 12)

Sometimes God caused suffering for a specific reason – usually as a warning. Sometimes Satan caused suffering. Sometimes there doesn't appear to be any specific message intended, as in the tower of Siloam – not caused necessarily by God or Satan.

God allows suffering to exist. He does not inflict it.

Maybe we have it all wrong. Maybe God isn't trying to tell us anything specific each time we hurt. Pain and suffering are part and parcel of our planet, and Christians are not exempt. Half the time we know why we get sick: too little exercise, a poor diet, contact with bacteria or a virus. Do we really expect God to go around protecting us whenever we encounter something dangerous?

As expected, we find ourselves looking at the Book of Job. Satan was testing Job with God's permission. God called Job's friends' words "windy." They were suggesting that because Job's trials continued, he must be sinning in some way. But Job knew that he was righteous and persisted in not accepting their advice. The book ends with God chastising Job for being impatient about God not answering his prayers the way he wanted. Job humbly answered that he is not God, and he trusts God, no matter what.

Why doesn't God heal all Christians now?

Faith includes the supernatural, but it also includes daily, dependent trust in spite of results. True faith implies a belief without solid proof. God is not mere magic. The Bible does not pretend that a Christian should expect life to be easier, more antiseptic, or safer than for a non-Christian. When healing ministers make a lot of hoopla over healing miracles, they are broadcasting the message that there must be something wrong with the relationship with God of those who were not healed. This is not a message that people who are suffering should be getting. If God halted all tragedies that involved Christians, it would insulate us from complete identification with the world. By allowing us to sometimes walk on our own in the midst of pain, without the benefit of soothing answers, God helps us acquire powerful new strength and real compassion.

If someone with, maybe, some physical problems is then carried around by her husband wherever she goes, soon she will be a complete invalid. She cannot take a step and is totally dependent on her husband. It would have been far better for the woman if the husband had helped his wife cope with physical therapy to relearn to walk on her own no matter how painful it is.

If our happiness is not God's goal, what is?

If our happiness is not God's goal, what is? Professor John Hick said, "God is dealing with incomplete creatures. Earth's environment should foster the process of soul making in which free beings choose to become children of God. Our world's rough edges allow this process of grappling and confrontation. His thinking is that generosity, kindness, the agape love, prudence, unselfishness, and all other ethical notions which presuppose life in a stable environment, could not even be formed otherwise.

"The problem of reconciling human suffering with the existence of God who loves is only insoluble as long as we attach a trivial meaning to the word love and limit his wisdom by what seems to us to be wise."

Jesus zoomed in on the peoples' responses. To the non-Christian, the message is a warning to consider other values in life and turn to God who offers eternity. To the Christian, the message is to turn to God in trust, as a child comes to a parent.

The need for truth

So how do these suggestions in the Bible differ from the uncompassionate hospital visitor who brings a smile and a pep talk, especially those who say rejoice and be glad. The vacuous words, smiles, and pep talks do not help people who are hurting, they simply frustrate and further hurt them. They tend to minister guilt rather than comfort.

Rejoice and be glad is not about sucking it up with a grin-and-bear it attitude, nor does it suggest that Christians should act happy about tragedy and pain when they feel like crying. This would be phony. Suffering produces something. It is of value; it changes us. The emphasis is on the end result, the use God can make of suffering in our lives. The process of giving God our trust and commitment can be described as rejoicing. He does not need our good responses for himself to satisfy some parental hunger. He focuses attention on our response for our sakes, not his.

Suffering breaks down our self-sufficiency, creates in us a profound new sense of faith in God and can produce changes of lasting value inside. God does not enjoy seeing us suffer, but allows it.

The mystery of suffering is a Christian paradox. Pain jostles with triumph and rubs elbows with despair. And yet people like Joni Eareckson and Corrie ten Boom show us that Christians in the worst prison of suffering can still hear and believe Christ's words: "I have overcome the world."

Learning from suffering

Personally, I can look at the numerous ways that I have suffered, and can see some ways that God is using them. I have understanding, grace and compassion for people who are hurting, probably more than I would have had if I had not experienced many things that people seek therapeutic help to deal with. This is because I know how people feel when certain things have happened to them. There has also been a great deal of healing - directly through healing prayers, through study, and through working with therapists. We have the scripture that promises that we will comfort others with the comfort with which God comforted us. II Corinthians 1:3 - 7:

"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves have received from God. For just as the sufferings of Christ flow over into our lives, so also through Christ our comfort overflows. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation; if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort."

I'm learning to depend on God, knowing that he is the healer and I am someone who may be able to bring people to him for healing.

Having been helpless at times, I know that I do not have sufficient strength to handle my life. I need God's help constantly. I'm a strong person in a number of ways, so there has often been a temptation not to ask for help when I needed it from God and from my fellow Christians.

Therefore, although I did not want to suffer, I can see at this point that I have gained from my experiences. I will probably never know why God allowed my life to happen as it has, but I do know that I am better able to minister to hurting people.

My prayer is that we will all continue in trust and obedience on days when we cannot see the way, and that he will keep us on the way to full maturity for his glory.